The Truth Hurts Once But The Lie Always Hurts

The truth hurts once, but the lie hurts every time you remember it ; More than anything because it catches you, hijacks your emotions, questions a thousand truths and makes what has been lived and felt up to that point artificial.

In fact, when they lie to us we can feel unrealized. At the end of the day, the shock of a false or incoherent experience gets to misplace us to the point of feeling upset with ourselves and with our reality.

Because those lies that are spoken to avoid pain, in the end hurt. And they hurt much more than any other feeling, thought or emotion caused by what is trying to hide or make up.

A relationship founded on lying is doomed to failure

We must know that those relationships that are not built with the foundations of sincerity, will behave like a fragile and flimsy house of cards that can destroy everything in its collapse.

Because the lie gives place to many types of deceptions that question our feelings.  And it is also that to lie it is not necessary to tell lies, it is enough to act falsely and to be a faithful follower of hypocrisy. What’s more, studies like the one carried out at Princeton University show us something interesting.

Lying as well as dishonest behavior are common traits in human beings. However, so is our need to establish relationships based on trust, hence deception is always experienced as a true violation.

Tell us the truth and let us decide if it hurts or not

The emotional pain that lies generates for those who cannot justify it is deep and immense. We suffer from situations that could have been avoided and that, trying to protect ourselves and almost always with good intentions, others make it worse.

However, both what a truth can hurt and what a lie generates in us will generate in us learning mediated by damage and pain. We will be able to promote our capacity for decision, analysis and emotional and cognitive self-determination.

In other words, we will dig other ways out of the tunnel, as we will learn more about the land that surrounds us and the best way to break through it.

However, deception is often a resource that seeks to protect itself from the dangers of the truth. However, this generates even more regret, since those lies that are spoken to avoid pain are the most painful, those that are perceived more twisted and devastate the positive in their wake.

Learn to protect yourself from lies

We must filter those things we say and listen to, not listening to everything that comes to us and thinking critically. Let’s not forget that many times people sell the motorcycle to us with full awareness that the engine is damaged.

To learn a little more about the criteria that we must follow when assessing both what we hear and what we say,

The young disciple of a wise philosopher comes home and says:

-Master, a friend was talking about you with malevolence …

-Waiting! the philosopher interrupts him. Did you make what you are going to tell me go through the three filters?

– The three filters?  asked his disciple.

-Yes, the first one is. Are you sure that what you want to tell me is absolutely true?

-No. I heard him comment to some neighbors.

-At least you will have made it go through the second filter, which is. What you want to tell me, is it good for someone?

-No, not really. On the contrary…

-Ah, well! The last filter is. Is it necessary to let me know what worries you so much?

-To tell the truth, no.

“Then,” said the wise man, smiling, ”  if it is not true, neither good nor necessary, let us bury it in oblivion”

Great truths also emerge from lies

No one is more likely to believe a deception than those whose deception fits their wishes. For this reason, to receive the truth you have to be able to contain it and for that we need, without a doubt, a good container.

The victims of the lie, once this is overcome, turn out to be people with great lucidity to decipher the fragility and weaknesses of those reasonings that one day were the source of their suffering. Let’s say that from our experience we managed to become bolder, understand and suspect the dangerous.

This occurs because one day credulity offered us the certainty that what has not been imagined or understood destroys us, because desperately we will try to find logical explanations and we will try to undo those knots that underlie manipulation and deception.

This will help us to grow and enhance essential skills in our day-to-day life, thus making both our emotions and our reasoning much more intelligent.