The Keys To Overcome Envy

Envy is an unpleasant emotion, which causes unpleasant behavior and consequences in others. It is, without a doubt, one of the most frequent emotional problems, and perhaps the least talked about. How does envy work in our lives? Envy is an emotion that involves yearning for what the other person has, or wanting to be going through the same situation as the other. To envy is to want what the other has.

We can envy a job, a car, a house, a good husband, the charisma of a friend, someone’s physique, etc. everything that we think we do not have and need to obtain to be happy, above all, success and triumph. The goal is always to have “more. “

Where does envy take us?

The act of envy places us on a plane of continuous  dissatisfaction and complaint , which slowly destroys us without realizing it. Little by little, our vision is shortened, observing everything through a layer of mist, which does not allow us to see beyond our eyes. For an envious person, their own time disappears, dedicating themselves to the desire of what others have, giving their opinion and judging about it, instead of orienting themselves to achieving their own dreams.

Alberto Acosta, professor of psychology at the University of Granada, affirms that “ we feel envious when we want to be more than someone. We long for something that someone else has and we believe that it is unfair that that person has it and we do not . Add that the envious tend to envy “especially those people who are highly esteemed by people, who are admired, who have influence and who have achieved success . “

Envy diverts us from our path, directing our energy towards the wrong path “the other”, instead of looking to ourselves for the best opportunities. It is therefore a complex and blinding emotion, which makes us forget that we are the protagonists of our lives, becoming victims who waste time, instead of living well and allowing the other to live as they see fit.

As Napoleon Bonaparte said: ” Envy is a declaration of inferiority .” But envy, as we will see later, is an avoidable emotion, since we can put it aside if we want, and thus we will stop hurting ourselves and de-centering ourselves from our own goals.

Bad envy and healthy envy

Healthy envy is one in which it is recognized that the other has something that we want and that we do not yet have, but that we will do everything possible to achieve it. In other words, we recognize that someone worked that “extra” that we have not done and that we still have to go to get to the same place. It is healthy because it does not bring pain or frustration. It can serve as an impulse and inspiration to achieve our goals and objectives.

However, there is another envy that is more unhealthy, since it generates a continuous unease, unhappiness, pain and frustration for not being able to have what the other has or has achieved, in such a way that it disables everything important to achieve it. It is a destructive emotion.

This last type of envy blinds people to the value of their own lives, as they refuse to value everything they have achieved. They are lives that want to incarnate in other lives, without considering that perhaps if they did, they would not be able to tolerate and go through everything they endured until they reach success. A popular saying explains it very well, “If you look at my success, look at my failure as well.”

For this reason, it is important to bear in mind that many of the people who are today in a privileged place have been constant and patient, paying the price of working and striving, as the desire to try to improve a little more every day.

How can we fight it?

Envy is fought by worrying about ourselves . Our personal search is what will give us meaning to our lives. Our objectives, our goals, our dreams and purposes will focus our energy and our way of acting. Each other’s achievement, we can turn it into a challenge for us, a source of inspiration.

It is better to admire than to envy. When we envy, the message we send is that we want to destroy the other, but when we admire we only express that we want to learn how the other did. Dreaming, projecting and being a little better every day are the keys that will tell us that limitations are only found in the mind.

In addition, we have to be clear that we do not have to compete with anyone, or prove anything to anyone, we do not even have to get to where the other went. The important thing is that we try to overcome our achievements and our own limits. You have to be the best version of yourself !