Not Deciding Is Also A Decision
Deciding or not deciding has consequences. Many times we believe that not deciding is the best way to escape a certain situation, but we are wrong since letting time be the one to clear up doubts is also a decision. Whether you have an opinion or if you remain silent, if you act or stay still … you will be deciding how to continue.
We tend to see how politicians refrain from deciding in Congress or citizens vote blank during elections. They are all making a decision by not deciding! Without a doubt, not deciding is a play on words that reflects a reality that we sometimes ignore for fear of facing the situation of uncertainty and taking responsibility for the results.
Not deciding is your decision
We are always taking sides for one thing or another even if we don’t realize it or don’t even know it. Even if we think that not saying a hurtful word or not facing our fears is “saving” us from trouble. We cannot fool ourselves. Refraining from taking a stance … is having a stance!
If in the face of a couple’s arguments you remain silent so as not to make things worse, if for fear of what they will say you do not say what you think in a meeting or if you stay at home for fear that something bad will happen to you … you are making decisions! Thus, you are responsible for the fact that sometimes your partner does not know what you think and cannot understand why you feel frustrated or angry.
Every day we are faced with situations where we must decide which way to go. Imagine that you are walking down a street and suddenly a fork appears before you. You can continue to the right or to the left. Of course, you can also decide to go backwards or until you stay still in that place. They are all decisions. Even the last one, even if with it you have assumed that you are not going to advance.
To decide or not to decide, that is the question
Some questions can be very simple if we have to make a decision (such as what clothes to wear or what to prepare for dinner) but there are others that need a more exhaustive analysis. While we are thinking about it and not taking a position, we must understand that we also decided: we decided not to take another step. And no one is forcing us to do so. For this reason, we say that not making decisions is one more decision.
Surely you know the saying that says “he who is silent grants.” This is exactly what happens when we do not have defined what we want to do or say. If you remain silent or still in your place, you must bear the consequences of your lack of action. Do not excuse yourself or think that this way you will save yourself from reactions. Remember that every stimulus has a response. Therefore each “non-decision” leads to a “non-acceptance” or “not getting involved” with a particular problem or situation.
Not deciding is letting act to chance
We may be tempted or in the habit of not making decisions for fear of what might happen. We do not want to take charge of our steps and prefer to choose to be “passive” or “inactive”. We believe that fate, the Universe or luck will take care of our problem. But this is not so. When we choose not to decide, we can cause worse consequences than if we at least try to do something about it.
When we must choose an alternative among those that are presented to us, we prefer to close our eyes, cross our arms or sit on the floor instead of analyzing the repercussions of each one. If you insist on maintaining that position of “no decision” then you will not be able to complain to anyone for what happens to you. It is your responsibility and nobody else’s. Do not forget that inaction will not give you the right to ask others for explanations.
Of course you have the possibility to change and achieve the desired effect. But for this you have to take an active role, even if it saturates you cognitively and you make mistakes, that way you will succeed and / or learn. Do not forget that you are the architect of your own destiny. Be encouraged to make decisions even if you make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and assume your responsibilities. It will be really commendable that you make mistakes when deciding!
