NoMo Women, Beyond Motherhood

Throughout history and in various contexts, women have been given the role of being a mother (the mother). However, over time this concept has changed in some cultures. Now, every time there are people who believe that this association should not be made. There are even groups of NoMo women, those who have decided not to have children.

These are people who vindicate their decision not to choose to be mothers simply because they do not want to be. In addition, they are clear that taking that course does not make them less women, or incomplete people.

Now, the term comes from the English Not Mothers . It began to become popular thanks to the sum of many women for the fight so that society sees motherhood as an option and not as a mandate. Throughout this article, we will tell you more about this new movement.

Origins of the movement

Women who do not want or decide not to have children have always existed. Only now it is easier to express it, thanks to the spaces that women have gained in which they did not operate before and to groups that claim their rights.

So, it is a phenomenon with differential visibility depending on the culture, but how did it become popular? Thanks to associations that act as guarantors of freedom and the right of women not to be a mother.

One of these associations is Gateway Woman , through a blog, a virtual community, books, meetings and other resources they invite women to be separated from motherhood; that is to say, to the fact that because she is a woman she must be a mother.

Its founder, Jody Day, has contributed a lot to making this movement visible, thanks, among other things, to her book Living the life unexpected  in which she expresses reflections on non-motherhood, including some personal experiences of when she noticed that the life they had shown her and for which she was prepared since she was a child, she did not exist.

So, thanks to these movements, more and more visibility is being given to the fact that motherhood is a matter of choice, and that not opting for it is not a matter that accuses women of not being good for it.

Society and motherhood

Society has seen women and motherhood united for many years. Although there are currently movements that ensure the right of women to choose whether they want to be a mother or not, there are still societies in which motherhood is imposed in some way.

This is evidenced in phrases like:

• Didn’t your biological clock call you?
• You are getting late to have children.
• Not having children is a matter of selfishness.
• You say it now because you are young.
• What will happen when you are an older person and do not have someone to take care of you?
• What is going to give meaning to your life?

So, social pressure is strongly felt through these and other comments.  But actually having them is far from being a dramatic situation. It is rather a conscious decision and aligned with the wishes of the person.

However, there are many women who, even if that is their wish, continue to feel pressured by their social environment and do not know how to act in this situation. For this, there are various support groups or the option of going to a psychotherapist who is the scaffolding to get out of that knot that they do not know how to pass or release.

What are NoMo women like?

NoMo women do not stop being women just because they do not have children nor are they incomplete, selfish or people who did not do their duty. They have simply made the decision not to have children. What characterizes these types of women is:

• Its fulfillment is not based on having children.
• They believe that they can be successful without the need for children.
• They do not believe that children are insurance for old age. They see other alternatives.
• They believe that motherhood is a personal decision.
• He knows that they should not comply with what is expected of them, to feel self-actualized.
• They would not postpone their goals or projects for being mothers.

For NoMo women, not having children does not mean not being maternal, you can have this way of being with pets, nephews, relatives, etc. In addition, the reasons why they assume it like this, they believe that they should be respected.

They have various investigations on it. For example, Sharon K. Houseknecht, a professor in the sociology department of Ohio State University, who in her article “Voluntary Childlessness” reviews the literature on studies on not having children voluntarily.

In his article, Houseknecht explores questions such as: the trends and incidence of the phenomenon, the reasons for remaining childless, which actors are involved in the decision not to have children, what is the role of society in this matter, and what are they the differences of not wanting children and not being able to have children.

Now, like any other decision, this concerns each person and whoever they consider. This is why NoMo women do not understand that motherhood is expected of them because they are women. Thus, they have other goals and projects, and they ensure that their opinion is respected.