Learn To Live Better By Breaking Your Own Rules

We all think that we move through life consciously, making rational and logical decisions. The reality is that most of our actions come directly from our habits. Those who are so ingrained in us that we do not even perceive their influence. That is, we decide automatically according to our own internal rules, without realizing that these are not always correct.

It takes a certain degree of reflection to realize that our opinions and behaviors are not truly free and spontaneous. They are conditioned by belief patterns that we develop during childhood and that are probably already obsolete.

The power of habit

Surely more than once you have heard the phrase “man is an animal of habit.” This saying reflects a reality more than proven. People move, for the most part, by habits, and it is not easy for us to detect or modify this trend. 

In psychology a habit is defined as a learned behavior that is repeated regularly and that requires little reasoning. In other words, habits are ways of thinking, feeling and behaving that we have been acquiring and developing since childhood and that, currently, we start automatically. 

The enormous power of habits is that they are familiar to us and, therefore, they provide us with a pleasant sense of security. People tend to avoid uncertainty, we prefer to let ourselves be carried away by the inertia of known patterns. Therefore, we tend to move within the same cognitive and emotional parameters throughout life.

Are your own rules the most appropriate?

Are obsolete

The problem is that we create these internal rules in a moment and under vital circumstances that no longer exist. Belief programs begin to take shape during our first years of life, finally settling down and staying with us.

However, many of these programs have become obsolete since we are no longer babies depending on someone to survive. We are adults, independent and responsible for our own existence. But many of these programs act from our unconscious, pushing us to act even from our childhood perspective. 

They are limiting

On the other hand, the presence of these thought patterns does not allow us to change and evolve according to our different life stages. That is, when we have ingrained beliefs about ourselves, we are defining ourselves and we are depriving ourselves of the possibility of being different.

If I believe, feel and constantly repeat that I am a shy person, it is very unlikely that I will open up to social experiences. If I firmly believe that I am a lazy person, it is very difficult for me to start playing sports regularly.

What I believe about myself, what I say about myself, conditions and limits me. Break those rules and offer yourself the opportunity to be what you want, without conditions. It does not matter if you have been thinking and acting in a certain way your whole life, it is in your hands to change that speech and those actions.

How to live better by breaking your own rules?

First of all, you have to clearly identify which beliefs are limiting you and are leading you to self-sabotage. Find the way you define yourself and the reactions you generally have that originated in your childhood. From there, make the decision to break out of all these patterns.

The two main elements to do so are courage and perseverance. Courage to dare to try different ways of doing things : start talking to more people if you are shy, learn to react calmly if you are someone who easily gets upset, or start playing sports if you were sedentary until now.

On the other hand, perseverance because these habits have been with you all your life and, when you neglect yourself, inertia will lead you to adopt them again. It is important that you do not give up on your efforts and take every opportunity to practice your new way of doing things.

Develop a radar to detect behaviors and feelings typical of your previous version, and at that precise moment, change them for those you want to establish. Although at first it is forced on you, with time you will see that there is nothing left of your previous rules and freedom has begun to accompany you on the way.