Hidden Anger, The Emotion That Changes Our Personality

Hidden anger, that anger long silenced and swallowed by force, can change our personality. The disappointments we have experienced, the failures, the damage suffered and unmanaged, the illusions lost and each trip that has arisen in our path leaves its mark on us, and is often transmuted into anger. In case of not handling these internal realities, we will drag a constant discomfort.

Anger is another of the most unknown emotions for much of the population. We often associate it with those outbursts in which the darker side of the human being emerges, where we end up saying or doing things that we later regret. Now, something remarkable about it is that in most cases anger does not emerge, it does not manifest itself, but we hide it and it remains veiled in an underlying way.

This emotion also has a quantitative problem, and that is that the more it accumulates, the more psychological discomfort it generates. An excess of anger does not always translate into an eternally angry face, someone who goes around the world pushing, yelling, or responding inappropriately. This emotion generates anguish, fatigue, translates into a bad mood, anxiety and, in many cases, even a depressive disorder.

Let’s see more data below.

The hidden anger, the camouflaged emotion that we forget to control

It may be striking to us, but human beings can live with hidden anger for almost their entire existence. Something like suffering the abandonment of a parent or mistreatment, for example, can in many cases be the root of that problem that ends up shaping our personality.

Anger, after all, is nothing more than the conjunction of various emotions chiseling a heavy stone that one can choose to carry for quite some time. Sadness, a feeling of injustice, anguish and often fear are integrated into it. Fear that certain things will come up again, and an absolute fear of feeling vulnerable again. All of this is catalyzed into rage, into a formless and lasting malaise that occupies and blurs everything at the same time.

Anger, rage, anger, irritability, aggressiveness, tension, loss of control … All these terms are the first that most of us come to mind when we think of anger. Relating it in this way is not a mistake, but the truth is that people do not always react in this way when experiencing this emotion.

Dr. Thomas Denson, from the University of Michigan (United States) explained to us in a study that there are different ways of feeling anger. There are those who express it and there are also those who silence it and carry it with them in a camouflaged way. The latter, those characterized by hidden anger, tend to feed it even more through ruminant thinking. Something like that ends up taking a toll on their behavior and personality.

What are the characteristics of hidden anger in a person?

Having experienced several emotional failures. Experiencing the fact that a close relative or significant other betrayed us. Not having achieved an important goal for us. All these realities are some examples of the origin of that hidden anger that many people feel.

Let’s see, however, what signs usually show:

• Distrust, clear difficulty in trusting those around him.
• Sarcastic, cynical behaviors and reactions often also frivolous.
• Constant mood swings
• Tendency to procrastinate. It is difficult for them to commit and fulfill their tasks.
• Irritability.
• Difficulty enjoying leisure moments.
• Insomnia, nightmares, continuous awakenings.
• Physical and mental exhaustion.

How can we manage anger?

Often when we read books or articles on how to manage anger, we see that they mostly apply an incomplete approach, and more when we talk about hidden anger. To work on this emotion, it is not enough to do relaxation exercises, to look for a catalyst or a means of expression. These techniques help, but they do not solve the problem at its source.

The most appropriate thing is that we take into account the following ideas.

Vulnerability

To manage hidden anger you have to go to the root of the problem, and in most cases it is the feeling of vulnerability. When people feel worthless, betrayed, when we see injustices, when we feel frustrated or angry with something or someone, anger arises. We must, therefore, clarify the origin.

Esteem

The second step is to work on self-esteem, self-worth. Sometimes, it will not be possible for us to solve those problems that caused the hidden anger in us. Therefore, it is necessary that we work on ourselves, repairing dignity, worth, human potential, appreciation for ourselves.

Helpful thoughts

Hidden anger has great ruminant power. Our mind is always focused on that focus of pain, that disappointment, that fact of the past. This approach often clouds our judgment and puts us at immense psychological drain. It is necessary that we work a careful, useful and healthy internal dialogue.

Focus on repairing hidden anger, not feeding it

Anger is a fire that fuels our thinking day after day. We intensify it with immobility, with procrastination, with a rigid mental focus that is completely anchored to those events of the past. If we really want to repair and heal hidden anger, we must lift that anchor from yesterday and allow ourselves to move forward by repairing our damages.

Something like this is achieved by placing new goals on the horizon, favoring changes, putting ourselves in new situations where we feel competent, where we can connect with new people who bring us positivity. Sometimes, it is necessary to restart in all senses to leave behind those burdens that did not allow us to breathe. Let’s think about it.