Emotional Freedom

Freedom is one of the fundamental rights of every human being. Most of us rebel when, from the outside, they try to impose obligations on us or control our decisions. Why don’t we react in the same way when what is being violated is our emotional freedom?

Being the owner of your own state of mind is a privilege that few people achieve, when in fact it should be a common practice that we are all used to. From a young age, they should teach us to take control over our emotions and not allow anything external to handle them. For that is what true freedom consists of: having the choice to decide how to feel.

How do you lose your emotional freedom?

In our daily life we experience many situations in which we lose our emotional freedom and give up power to external events. Let’s see some examples:

• I send a good morning message to my partner and he does not respond. I spend all day watching for my mobile phone and feeling restless, anguished or angry at the lack of response. I have left my state of mind in the hands of another.
• I choose my clothes with great enthusiasm and I leave the house feeling very comfortable with my outfit. When I arrive at the office a colleague makes a sarcastic or negative comment about my appearance. From that moment on I start to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and I never take risks with my clothes again due to this experience.
• I am in a meeting with friends having a good time and listening to the anecdotes of others. Suddenly one of them rebukes me saying: “You can talk, we are not going to eat you.” My nature is introverted and I’d rather stay in the background than be the center of attention. It’s completely valid and I feel comfortable relating like that. But, because of this comment, I feel humiliated and instead of enjoying the pleasant evening, I just wish I could go home as soon as possible.

All of these situations reflect our inability to be our own emotional center. We are left at the expense of the actions and words of others – something we cannot control. Therefore we cede the power over our well-being to third parties.

Build a safe place within yourself

The key to regaining control of our own being is to establish within ourselves a safe and insurmountable place. Let’s build wellness from within instead of looking for it outside. We cannot manage what others do but we can choose what we do. If we decide to build our self-esteem and develop a habit of positive and motivating thinking, we will have shielded ourselves from external ups and downs.

Start by making friends with yourself. Get to know yourself in depth and accept yourself with your strengths and weaknesses. In this way, no other people’s comment can hurt you because you will be fully aware of who you are and you will love yourself that way. Convince yourself that the only important opinion is your own. The only validation, approval and support you need are yours.

This way when someone expresses dislike for your outfit, you will continue to feel calm and confident because you don’t need to please anyone . In the same way, if someone tries to ridicule you for an aspect of your personality, you will not be affected by their opinion, since you have already established that for you that trait is completely valid.

You are valid for yourself

Additionally, stop measuring your worth by the treatment that others offer you and remind yourself every day that you are valuable and important for yourself. Take care of yourself, respect yourself and provide yourself with the love and attention you need. Thus, you will not find yourself begging for it from anyone else. When you become your own emotional center, you do not anxiously wait for anyone’s response, you continue with your life knowing that you deserve the best.

You respect the times and spaces of others because you have learned to enjoy your own. And, additionally, you know how to set limits when someone tries to manipulate you. You are so in touch and in the power of your emotions that you easily detect when someone tries to steal your remote. 

Finally, remember that the actions of others speak of them and not of you. If someone treats you badly, they are portraying their rudeness and lack of empathy, but they are not talking about your value as a person. When you understand this, it is much easier to distance yourself from other people’s behavior and direct your emotions from within.