The Anger Behind Some Silences
What is the anger behind some silences? What can it hide? Anger is an emotion that is adverse or unpleasant to us when we experience it, so its usefulness is not usually recognized socially, which does not mean that it does not have it.
Emotions are psychophysiological reactions that represent modes of adaptation to certain stimuli when we perceive an object, a person, a place, an event or an important memory. And they all carry a message too.
At the brain level, attention is altered by emotions that make certain response-guiding behaviors rise in rank and activate relevant associative networks in each person’s memory. This is also the case with anger, even if it gets such a bad press.
The Royal Spanish Academy (RAE) defines anger according to different meanings, in this way: 1. Feeling of indignation that causes anger. 2. Appetite or desire for revenge. 3. Fury or violence of the elements of nature. 4. Repetition of acts of viciousness, rancor and revenge.
Now that we know a little more about emotions in general and what anger roughly consists of, let’s see what lies behind it when it is silenced.
Unmasking the anger behind some silences
How can we be aware of the anger behind some silences? This emotion, like any other, can be very complex and coexist with several concatenated emotions. That is, when we are experiencing the emotion of anger, it is most likely that, in addition, we can experience emotions such as guilt, sadness, disappointment, etc.
If in these moments we were to recall a situation in which we may have experienced anger, we could observe how it will appear in a context between two or more people. And, practically, most emotions occur in an interpersonal context, when we are in front of other people.
Thus, if, for example, we quarrel with a person we appreciate, to whom we give affection and insult him, we verify that the first emotion that appears is anger, then guilt may appear and then sadness may invade us due to to the act of insulting that person we appreciate.
We could go on putting a million examples in this regard and we would realize that this is really the case. Furthermore, if we applied it to specific situations it would be even easier for us to recognize it. Now, what to do to combat the anger behind some silences and feel better?
A good way to do this is through mindfulness- based emotional regulation . We expose it below.
Mindfulness- based emotion regulation
More and more mindfulness- based interventions advocate incorporating a section dedicated to emotional regulation into their programs. The pioneer program to incorporate it was the MBSR (for its acronym in English) or as it translates into Spanish: Stress Reduction Program based on Mindfulness or mindfulness.
The MBSR was created by Jon Kabat Zinn in 1979 at the University of Massachusetts. The MBSR program emphasizes the ability to stop and see before acting, to learn to display more effective and event-driven behaviors. Now, how can the practice of mindfulness regulate our emotions? What mechanisms do you use for this purpose? What are its benefits?
Emotions are said to have four components and, therefore, four ways of manifesting themselves. These are: the corporal, the cognitive, the feeling and, finally, the impulse.
In this way, paying attention to the body makes our mind generate fewer thoughts. These thoughts that do nothing but continue to fuel the emotion of anger and that we can not stop ruminating about it.
By practicing mindfulness regularly, we managed to break this vicious circle and prevent the impulse that we talked about in the previous example from appearing (insulting another person). We leave you a guided practice that serves to deepen more.
