Do You Know How To Complain Effectively?

Many times we ” complain ” about grumpy people or those who have a great facility to spoil our day with a simple gesture of anger very early. Well, it turns out that the surprising thing about this is that many of these ” complainers by nature ” are using an emotional remedy unknown to many of us to release their frustration: complaining.

The act of complaining allows us to eliminate stress, discharge our frustration and allows us to recover the energy we need to overcome and face the problems that arise.

Thanks to these properties so recommended for our emotional health on its positive side, today we will talk about why the complaint can become something beneficial in our life.

The complaint as a resource to release our frustration

For this I will talk about 3 points that we need to understand when it comes to understanding how it works on our thinking and thus being able to apply it to the problems that are presented to us in a positive way.

1. There are different types of complaint. One complaint is not always the same as another. Depending on the origin, the emotions experienced by the person who is doing it, the emotional context, etc. It is important to be clear that not all complaints follow the same ” negative ” and necessarily avoidant pattern .

It is necessary to be clear on this point if we want to use the use of the complaint to our benefit. A clear example would be the difference between complaining about a daily situation such as that our partner does not arrive on time for an appointment, to complaining about how our boss treats us every day at work. Although the same words are used when expressing our negative emotion, the background is totally different.

It is important to distinguish where we are complaining, bearing in mind that a single isolated complaint will not be of much use to us, but if we find ourselves angry about something . We could say that it is good that we take into account the high points of our negative emotions before we release our frustration in the wrong way.

2. Practice the complaint as an emotional resource. Complaining is an emotional action that is easy to integrate into our use of tools necessary to release tension and discomfort. Its mechanism is simple, but its responsibility and commitment not so much.

I like to emphasize the importance of  being responsible with this method of liberation, because if we put it into practice with people around who may be affected, it will not help us much. , without respecting the unconditional love that the person who listens to us at that moment is giving us.

To understand how this mechanism works in a positive way, we just have to put ourselves in the situation. If we are experiencing some negative feeling with great intensity and it happens that a problem appears with another person, we will probably exaggerate our reaction in the same way as our initial emotional activation. Hence, feelings and emotions are due, as far as possible and when they are negative, to work separately, otherwise they may end up contaminating everything.

This will reduce the possibility of generating a negative situation with that person who is probably not to blame for anything . An example is getting up and finding that we don’t have milk to drink our coffee. If at that moment you do not complain, you will not be releasing the negative energy that the situation generates and you will pay for it later with the person you meet on your way, without a clear need.

Finally, an excess of complaints towards the outside or a permanent discomfort with most of the things that happen to us are usually good indicators that there is something that we are not doing well in our emotional management. Emotionally we are connecting events that elicit feelings of the same polarity, in this case, negative.

When we identify this “inertia” one of the recommended strategies is to increase control over what happens to us. Thus, it can be a good day to try to finish our workday a little earlier and go home to enjoy some activity that we know charges our batteries with positive energy.

It is very common, after a hard day at work, to return home very tired or with without having expended the corresponding energy at the time. Carrying out a complaint silently to ourselves or aloud will allow us to release this stored tension, eliminate that possible bad mood and rest much better at bedtime.

3. The complaint is useful but we must not overdo it. When we express a complaint we must take into account what we want to achieve with it. Let’s imagine that our boss is about to raise our salary or we have made a formal request and said that he is going to think. Making a complaint at that time about the chair in which we work, the arrangement of our desk or our workday can make our boss take action sooner for those of us who have complained than for what we have asked for.

Thus, once you have addressed our complaint, it is not uncommon for you to feel that you have already done enough for us and dismiss our request for a salary increase, when it was the most important thing for us. Thus, complaints should be filed one at a time and never filed with petitions.

This article aims to expose that a good complaint made at the right time can be very useful – both to free yourself from a negative emotional state and to get something to change in the real world – but, remember that if the situation gets out of hand , your complaint can also be affected and not be controlled, generating more discomfort.

Being reasonable is always vital when it comes to developing ourselves internally and enjoying a full quality of emotional life, so if we feel bad about something simple it is not necessary to divert our attention to other problems to complain about them and discharge our frustration.

It is good to be aware that complaining can serve as a momentary resource , but the discomfort and negative emotion that we feel inside will return over time if we do not put means for its solution; That is why it is important, without ever losing sight of the most powerful strategies we have for solving problems.