Chronic Dissatisfaction Is Toxic To The Soul

Have you ever felt that whatever you do is never enough? Do you think you could have done better? Do you demand a lot of yourself? Do you constantly compare yourself? Chronic dissatisfaction is toxic and leads us to perfectionism and demand. Knowing how to transform it into a positive feeling will help you balance your life more easily.

The sociologist Zygmunt Bauman, talks about the fact that we live in a liquid and consumer society, which seeks to satisfy material needs immediately. This causes the products we spend to end quickly, giving rise to our needs never being satisfied, and we want to consume more, to feel complete.

Therefore, a part of responsibility, of the great general dissatisfaction that we experience, is at the social level. We spend the day wishing for new things and as soon as we have them, we already want something new. As a consumer society that we are, every novelty practically arouses a desire.

How do you know if you are dissatisfied?

Chronic dissatisfaction is not only a social phenomenon, but also a personal and individual problem. It may be that you feel that normally nothing fills you, you find yourself overwhelmed by what you have pending, and once you do, you do not find any reward. In addition, it is distinguished by the need for constant approval from others and the feeling that you are never on time, there is always something pending that can be done better.

If this happens to you, it is likely that you also feel that everything makes you bitter, and that you set goals that are impossible to achieve. Comparison and envy are also two characteristics that are frequently associated with dissatisfaction. The more you compare yourself, the more dissatisfied you are. The paradox of envy is that it takes you away from your psychological well-being instead of helping you achieve your desires.

If you feel that nothing satisfies you, you may have some unfinished business related to your self-esteem . Insecurity is another point that is present in the feeling of chronic dissatisfaction. When you doubt, you can feel a great fear of failure, and therefore, this will slow you down to make decisions and advance your goals.

What can dissatisfaction do for you?

The good news is that dissatisfaction has two faces. One, as we just described, can make you bitter and another that can help you progress. Occasional dissatisfaction can be positive, it leads you to improve, and to improve yourself in your day-to-day life. In small doses, it gives you energy and motivation not to let yourself be overcome by obstacles. In addition, it pushes you not to conform to what is established and seek a solution to your problems.

The bitter side of dissatisfaction comes when you allow it to settle into your routine and allow yourself to be overcome by demand, comparison, the desire for perfectionism and ambition. To allow dissatisfaction to be only occasional, you need not fall into the comparison trap. You are unique and unrepeatable and you have the same right as others to have your own tastes and your own thoughts and emotions. 

Why does dissatisfaction that lasts over time end up being toxic?

Dissatisfaction can give you signs that something has to change in yourself or in your environment, and that can become positive if you know how to take advantage of it. It becomes harmful when you prolong complaint and discontent, stain your life with ambition, and focus on the past or future rather than the present moment. The desire to control everything means that you cannot relax and forget what is really important: enjoying the little things. 

If you are one of the people who tend to want everything to be perfect, it is likely that your dissatisfaction could be harmful to you. No matter how much you plan, life has its own plans and no one can control events or how the people around them will act.

How to free yourself from toxic dissatisfaction?

Some ideas to get rid of this toxic dissatisfaction:

• Do not compare yourself, you are a singular and unique person:  the comparison only leads you to idealize others, instead of contacting the real part of yourself. Accept yourself as you are, and be grateful for what you have, so you can feel stronger to make your own way.

• Let your needs be real and not imposed: think if what you want is because you need it, because you want it or maybe, because you think you “should” do it.
• Do not try to prove anything to others: the only one you have to prove something is yourself. Show yourself that you value and love yourself just the way you are.
• Allow yourself the mistake:  you are imperfect, just like the rest of humanity, therefore, use your mistakes to learn and take advantage of them.
• Let your emotions guide you: find a balance between emotion and thought, without covering up your emotions. Only if you give space to all your emotions will you be able to better manage your dissatisfaction or discontent.
• Enjoy your present: your life is in the present, in the here and now, live it consciously and fully.

Confidence in yourself and what is to come nourishes your soul and body. By adding flexibility to your life, you can more easily let go of the control and need for perfection that chronic dissatisfaction carries. Thus, you will learn to love yourself with your defects and virtues in order to let go of your demands and be happier with yourself and with others.