7 Reasons Why A Child Can Lie

What lies do children tell, when and why do they tell them? Is lying different in an adult than in a child? When should we worry? In this article, we will try to answer these and other questions.
7 reasons why a child can lie

A child can lie for different reasons. In fact, sometimes it is not easy for them to tell the truth, or lies can be confused with jokes. However, underlying this childish attitude some other interesting reason that is worth knowing in depth.

And it is that, sometimes, a lie of a child is not far from what it seems. Beyond the jokes or avoiding getting a ‘fight’, there could be some type of psychological problem that must be studied in depth.

Why a child can lie

One of the experts who has studied the subject of child lies the most is Ana Roa. This pedagogue, author of different books on the world of children, considers the act of lying as something voluntary that implies a concealment of the truth.

Ana Roa dissects children’s lies in her book Live life! In it he explains how this act varies depending on the age of the children, since the phenomenon is not repeated in all stages for the same reasons.

Thus, it is important to know that the main motive behind child lies is not always the motivation to cheat. Sometimes, the little ones just want to please, be the center of attention, imitate their elders or handle certain situations, avoid punishment or repression or simply let out their most hidden desires.

Child crossing fingers while lying

The lie in the first years of the child’s life

During the first years of life, children’s lies are interpreted as exaggerations or errors, in many cases unconsciously and unintentionally.

The child has not developed his capacity for abstraction, and neither have his independent desires. That is, he is not fully aware of what is happening around him, in reality, everything is very imaginative and he does not fully understand that lying is a way of breaking a rule.

It is not something worrying, in principle, if this phenomenon is not repeated frequently and is not a norm in conversations with the child. That is, it does not become a problem and a disorder that should be treated by a specialist unless it is exceeded and becomes almost a habit.

How to act in the face of a child’s lie

Usually we already know why a child can lie. It is important to note that it is not frequent and, if it is detected, we will not raise our voice or negatively reinforce the attitude so as not to impoverish their self-esteem.

The real task of parents will be to show children the importance and attractiveness of telling the truth. Therefore, it is interesting to be understanding, trusting and cordial, showing good feelings, an open-minded attitude and creating the right environment to teach the little ones why not to lie.

Remember, if a child persists in his attitude of lying, we should not humiliate or hug him. However, we will be firm in our postulates and, in addition, we will add an extra affection so that he sees that we are right and what we say is positive for him.

Pinocchio figure

The reasons why a child lies

The author Ana Roa has studied the classic phrases that children often use to lie. Analyzing them, he explains what each of them usually means:

  • I have not been . It is produced by fear after having transgressed a rule. He wants to avoid punishment.
  • Yes i know . You are fighting your shame for not knowing how to do something. The child is not accepted and has a feeling of guilt.
  • I don’t know who did it . The child is showing loyalty out of love or fear. Show fear or affection.
  • My gut hurts . You are avoiding complex situations, which shows fear and immaturity.
  • So and so they have bought that toy . He tries to obtain something that has been denied him and shows few negotiating resources.
  • Because they insulted me, I insulted them . It draws attention to impress and can be a sign of self-esteem issues.
  • I’m going alone with dad, then mom will come . He covers up a painful reality that he does not assume and shows sadness.

These are 7 reasons why a child can lie at certain times. So if you listen to them continuously, you better take action. If not, they are part of what we could consider normal development; On the other hand, let us think that children often confuse reality with their wishes, that when they lie many times they are not aware that they are doing it and simply their purpose, even if they are untrue, is not to deceive.

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