Taking The Bull By The Horns: Solving Uncertainties

There is a phrase, take the bull by the horns, which means to solve an uncertainty with a stroke of the pen. How many people live excited about something and do not know if they could achieve it? How many, for fear of facing situations, are left without advancing in the same area as always?

For example, I know many people who have liked someone for years, but since they do not dare to say anything because they think they will not reciprocate, they continue to contact the person suffering in silence.

Cases of these I have known many. And I have asked you, why do you hold on to pain? If you like a person and you do nothing to know if the liking is mutual, you will never know the answer, and you will not be able to change your scene and look for other people who are interested in you.

The most extreme case I know of is that of a girl who has been excited about a friend for 10 years. This one does not correspond to him in the way that she wants, although amicably yes. This girl is missing out on new opportunities, she often tells me “I don’t like anyone else” and I say to her “but how are you going to have eyes for someone else if you are still friends with the one you like the most?”

How to catch the bull by the horns

To open new doors it is necessary to close others. Therefore, taking the bull by the horns is an act of courage that has its reward, because you do not waste much time with things that have no future. It can be painful, as it is not a tasteful dish for anyone to risk and then lose, but it is the only way forward.

If you don’t look for what you want, if you don’t run the risk of receiving “no’s”, “yes’s” won’t come either. Strengthen your self-esteem and dare to face situations, to take the bull by the horns. A rejection is nothing more than a disagreement, we are not all the same, some of us like one thing and others another.

The basketball metaphor

We fear rejection so much that we are unable to take the initiative. When you are able to accept rejections as something normal in life, more doors will open for you, because you will dare to risk more.

For me, a rejection is like shooting a basket and missing the shot. Would you stop playing basketball because you failed to shoot? I guess not, right? Because we know that in every game you hit and miss and the more you practice shooting, the more you score.

The same happens in life. When you are faced with different situations, you can win or fail. It is normal, and it should not harm our security that we cannot get everything we want. What is clear is that the more you dare to try it, the more chances you will have of getting things.

For me it is much worse not to try things for fear of failing than to try and not succeed. One of the biggest fears of the people, is to declare to someone. It is a fear that we exaggerate more than necessary, because after all, nothing happens, two things can happen to you:

• That they correspond to you and you can be happy with that person you like.
• That they do not correspond to you and, although it is painful at first, you can turn the page and meet other people to start over. If they have not reciprocated, your life will continue the same, nothing will change in the environment. You will have won because you will know what to expect and you will not spend time imagining what could have been.

The game of assumptions

There is no game more cruel than that of love assumptions. Surely you have all met someone who is excited because he sees signs that someone likes him. Assuming is nothing more than an imagination that could be unreal, therefore, many people believe that someone corresponds to them and then when they start to tell them something they are very disappointed when they receive a refusal.

This happens because when someone likes us, we want so much to be reciprocated, that whatever they do, we see it as a sign that could indicate that they also like us. Unconsciously we are in a search for some sign that tells us that we are reciprocated.

Any song that the person you like hears will make you think that the lyrics have things that coincide with you. A smile at you will make you feel interested. A certain look will cloud you so that you think that it definitely feels the same, etc …

Therefore, there is nothing more reliable than deciding to take the bull by the horns,  because that way you will solve the doubts and you will not waste time assuming things that might not be true. Normally, we hinder ourselves when starting a project, telling someone new that we are attracted to them, changing cities … But if in a few years you consider that you will regret not having made the decision, then, deep down, you’ve already taken it: take the bull by the horns! Dare to be happy!

Images: Benjamin Lacombe