At Any Time And Circumstance That You Do Not Lack Self-love

Wherever you go and regardless of the circumstances in which you are, do not lack self-love. Fill your pockets with this positive emotional charge made with your self-concept and self-esteem and don’t leave it forgotten at home. Even less, do not place it in the hands of others. It is exclusively yours as is also the responsibility to attend and strengthen it on a daily basis.

The philosopher Michel de Montaigne used to say that ” the best thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself “. This is one of those evidences that we are not taught in school. Cultivating self-love should be a core subject of life, one that will be integrated into any academic curriculum. Because if there is something that we all know, it is that, sometimes, we neglect this psychological area or even feed it excessively.

Loving yourself, valuing yourself, feeling valid and deserving of what you want is healthy. What is no longer so is feeding an excess of ego and excessive admiration from which to underestimate the rest and even see themselves with the right to inflict damage.

Without this exceptional tool of our psychological architecture, the personality frays. As the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers pointed out, people need to take care of that feeling of worth, self-appreciation and ability to build a meaningful life.

Wherever you are, do not lack self-love

There is something that is surprising. There are many people who go through life without knowing that the relationship and the feelings they have with others are determined by their own love. If I don’t love myself as I deserve, I will wait for others to give me what I lack; something that never happens and hence the eternal suffering and the derivation of codependent relationships.

In the end, we limit ourselves to accepting the love that we believe we deserve and the friendship that does not enrich, but that we assume because we think that we cannot aspire to anything better. The same is true at work and in any facet of life. If this dimension fails, everything is distorted and we limit ourselves to existing at a minimum, barely surviving in every existential sphere, but without knowing what satisfaction or happiness is.

There is also someone who insists on that of «You have to love yourself more! If you loved yourself, these things wouldn’t happen to you! ” We nod but … how do you do that? By what magic formula can it be achieved? Is it enough perhaps to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are worth it, that everything that reflects the glass is perfect by itself? The answer is no. It is not just about accepting and appreciating our physical appearance.

Self-love goes beyond feeling good about who we are, how we are or what we have. It is a state of constant appreciation for everything we do, for everything that ends up reverting to our growth as people. It is a dynamic process that nourishes and brightens everything to work on what we deserve and thus be able to boost our psychological strengths.

Do not lack self-love, remember to attend to these dimensions

It does not matter the circumstance or the moment: wherever you go, do not lack self-love because, otherwise, you will become someone you do not like. In a double of yourself who tolerates what hurts him, who does not dare to fight for what he wants and who accepts people he does not deserve at his side.

It is therefore important to remember which are the pillars that build self-love:

• Self-awareness. This dimension implies realizing what we think, what we feel, what we need every second. Getting in touch with our inner being allows us to align needs with actions and commitments.
• Self – esteem. This psychological tendon is the key and heart of self-love. It is appreciation for our own person and, in turn, the way we think others see us. This perceptual evaluation of oneself is something that we must take care of every day.

•  Self-care. This competence goes beyond good nutrition, hygiene or taking care of our health. It is to attend to our emotions, it is to take care of our thoughts … The art of good care must attend at all times the sphere of the mental, of the emotional, so that you do not lack self-love at any time.

Happiness is in balance: not too much, not too little

Remember, never lack self-love, because from lack comes suffering. Also, remember also: never overload or accumulate self-esteem in excess because suffering is projected onto others from overload. An example, in a study carried out at the University of Texas by Dr. William Campbell, pointed to the same thing.

Furthermore, they proposed a distinction: whoever tends to over-reinforce his self-esteem is not a narcissist. Narcissists tend to use others to reinforce their deficiencies by draining the energies of those around them. However, the person with an excess of self-esteem perceives himself as better than others, both in intellectual and moral aspects.

These people do not need or want to control anyone, but they create high-burnout environments in which to leave evidence of their high arrogance. It is not appropriate, it is not recommended.

The key is in balance, happiness is found in loving who we are, respecting others, in positioning ourselves in the world to achieve what we want but knowing how to live in harmony.

Let’s keep it in mind.