How To Beat Your Inner Critic

Most of us have to deal with an inner critic reflected in persistent thoughts that tell us that we are not good enough or that question our goals. Even those thoughts try to destroy, undermine or challenge our achievements.

On the one hand there is oneself, who wakes up every morning with a goal and owner of himself, and on the other hand there is that inner critic “anti-self”, sometimes self-destructive, which manifests itself in the form of negative thoughts.

This internal voice with which we criticize ourselves is formed by painful life experiences, which occurred in childhood and adolescence, in which hurtful situations have been suffered or have been witnessed in others.

As we grow we unconsciously adopt these patterns and turn them into negative and destructive thoughts towards ourselves and others as well.

When we are not able to identify and separate that inner critic, we are allowing it to affect our behavior and, in some way, direct our lives, sabotage our relationships, actions and goals and prevent us from living the life we ​​want to live.

How to challenge our inner critic

1 – Identify your inner critic and what he is telling you

It is necessary to identify what your inner voice criticizes about you. What does it say when you look in the mirror in the morning? What does it say when you set a new goal for yourself? What does it say when you set out to do something different?

At this point, it is important to recognize that this thought process is separate from your true point of view.

Your inner critical voice is not a reflection of reality, but is an unconsciously adopted point of view based on early negative and destructive life experiences and attitudes directed toward you that you have internalized as your own point of view.

2 – Separate your inner critic from you

Differentiating the inner voice is essential to interpret those thoughts in the second person.   In other words, when faced with thoughts such as “I will never be able to do anything well”, you have to immediately rethink the thought and modify it – following the previous example – by something like “nothing can be done well.”

This will help you see your thoughts from someone else’s point of view and not as true statements.

3 – Respond to your inner critic

You need to respond to criticism by making a realistic and compassionate assessment of yourself.

In response to an internal thought such as “you are an idiot” it is necessary to respond in the first person in a positive way, giving answers such as “I am an intelligent person who sometimes has problems, but competent enough to get ahead.”

It is not an exercise in self-centeredness, but rather your goal is to find a kinder and more honest attitude towards yourself.

4 – Do not act following the criticism of your inner voice

We must not act according to the guidelines set by the point of view of our inner critic, but we must make decisions according to our rational and thoughtful point of view.

That inner critic may want to scream louder, may not want to take risks, or may want to do something else. However, by identifying and separating that inner voice it is easier to control self-destructive thoughts, to become stronger and to weaken those self-criticisms.

When criticism from others affects us too much

Many times, the criticisms of others affect us too much because they agree with that inner critical voice. In some cases, you may have heard them all your life from the mouths of others, towards you or others.

If you identify your inner critical voice, what the person whose criticisms and comments align with it is telling you, you will have found a source of toxicity important to your happiness and self-esteem. Destructive criticism from both others and ourselves is toxic.

I don’t know about you, but “normal” people tend to take out the garbage on the street, close the doors of the rooms when they smell bad until it passes, ventilate when the environment is loaded and throw or put away what is in their way because they simply cannot have it in front of you.

Obviously you can’t do this so literally with the toxic people in your life, but you can take action.