Failed Predictions: The Reason We’re Not Happy
The reason we are not happy is because we tend to overestimate the impact events will have in the future. It doesn’t matter if this is negative or positive. What matters is that this overestimation makes us imagine a situation, for example winning the lottery, and that we have an emotional reaction in the present. Thus, we assume that if it comes true that will be what we feel. This is the origin of all our failed predictions.
We do not realize that our emotional state changes. Let’s imagine we win the lottery. But at that moment someone close to us has passed away and we are sad. What we assumed would be something that would fill us with happiness becomes a circumstance that we cannot savor and enjoy. Relying on our current emotional state to suppose what will happen in the future makes us have more failed predictions than correct ones.
Our failed predictions are based on the past
Just as we rely on our present emotional state to assume what can make us happy, we also use another resource: the past. We collect those memories we have about certain experiences to predict a future that, perhaps, does not suit our expectations. Because yes, failed predictions are because they are full of expectations.
Let’s think, for example, that we have not had much luck with the colleagues we have had in all the jobs we have done. We never managed to establish a good relationship with them, they tried to manipulate us, they always wanted to stand out and leave us in a bad place … Because of this we can try to predict what will happen to us in a future job in two different ways.
If we have low self-esteem and our self-confidence has been undermined by these experiences, we may assume that the same thing is going to happen to us in that next job. We will go with fear, a lot of insecurity and fear about what we “believe” is going to happen. Otherwise, we will dream and want to meet friendly people with whom to establish a very positive relationship, probably not only in the workplace but also personally.
Both one assumption and the other may lead us to have failed predictions. Well, events are unpredictable. Maybe we are lucky to get it right, that everything happens just as we had thought. Normally, we will wait for everything to happen in a positive way. But what if it isn’t? So what we thought could make us happy will actually make us sad.
Emotions fade
Our failed predictions do not only have to do with our emotional state or with past experiences. There is also something that we have to pay attention to. We usually only look at those details that we consider important. For example, with co-workers we focus only on that employment relationship. But what about the job itself? What is it going to contribute to us to grow professionally?
We put aside certain aspects because our emotions in the present moment urge us to focus on something that affects us and that we want to change. The fact of not being rich, of not having friendly co-workers, of not having been able to have a child yet… All of this causes us to believe that winning the lottery, finding incredible coworkers or having a child will make us happy. But what if that turns out not to be the case?
Sometimes we can make hasty decisions based on those predictions that may not come true as we expected. Something that we thought would make us happy, suddenly we find that it is not. What happens is that it is too late to turn back.
We have to be aware that emotions fade. Winning the lottery can make us happy, but this excitement will not last. We will always have bad moments, experiences that will make us feel sad, and even overestimating this fact can cause us to act without caution and suddenly find ourselves full of debt.
We have all made failed predictions. Understanding that these are conditioned by our current preferences and by underestimating the way we will feel, which will not be permanent, will help us to live more in the moment and accept what may happen without too many expectations.
