7 Ways To Get Along With Your Ex

Whether or not you want to get along with your ex is a very personal matter. However, maintaining a good relationship with your partner has many advantages. Although it is not always easy to maintain a cordial relationship, it can be essential in some cases, for example, if there is a child involved or if you have to see each other very often.

Life takes many turns, and you never know what will happen. Even if it’s only out of sheer selfishness, and that’s why they say that you have to have a friend even in hell, taking yourself badly is only going to promote negativity, which is going to extend to everything that your relationship touches.

Here are some ways to get along with your ex and keep your relationship as healthy as possible.

1 – Leave the past behind

The past is a very heavy burden that does not allow us to advance. Leave behind the mistakes, the lies, the falsehoods, the boredom. Look ahead and walk without luggage. Learn from experience: that’s the only thing you have to take with you.

If you carry all that, you will not be able to look him in the eye or have a conversation without something splashing and blurring the moment. If you are at work, with the children or with mutual friends, this will spoil everything, it will affect your other personal relationships and maybe even your work life.

2 – Do not argue about what has no solution

Sometimes it is not easy to leave everything behind, and without looking for it an old problem arises. Biting your tongue helps to bring up new reasons for discussion. If there is no longer a remedy, there is no use continuing to insist.

On the other hand, experience will have taught you how far you can continue with an argument with your ex, and even to foresee if that discussion will lead to a successful conclusion or not . Choose your battles, and do not draw your weapons in the one that you cannot win.  Just pick them up and change scenery.

Nevertheless…

3 – Defend yourself

You have an obligation to stand your ground and defend your position when necessary. Leaving the past behind does not mean forgetting why a decision was made.

You must make yourself respect in the same way that you respect the other. The difference of points of view is the reason that underlies any rupture. And that will continue to be the case. Respecting and enforcing those opposing or non-complementary points of view will allow maintaining a cordial relationship, as far as possible.

4 – Forgive him and forgive yourself

This is not easy, but it is necessary. In any problem between two people there is a shared responsibility. Forgiving and forgiving yourself is something necessary to move forward, regardless of whether you want, can or should maintain a cordial relationship with the ex-partner.

Not forgiving feeds anger, hatred, guilt, revenge and bitterness, useless emotions to open the door to a new life, to start being the person you really want to be.

5 – Be compassionate and understanding

He may not deserve it, but you do. May I not appreciate it, but you will. Show him and, above all, show yourself, that you are above everything that has happened to you, that you can overcome it, and that, although it hurts, the pressure does not make you go down, but rather up.

An understanding and compassionate attitude will allow you to overcome resentment and leave behind that heavy baggage, which you will often feel is tied to you with a thousand knots.

6 – Keep a healthy distance

Being in a relationship with your ex may also stir up some confusing emotions. Being kind, understanding, and even loving can lead to misunderstandings.

If you want to try again, you need to fix what caused the breakup first, and make sure it’s salvageable. Because there are things that do not change, and not only in the other, but also in oneself.

Maintaining a healthy distance is the best way to avoid misunderstandings and to give yourself a chance to clarify things, especially when it comes to yourself.

7 – Sincerely wish your happiness

That you did not do well together does not mean that you do not have the right to be happy and have a second chance, each one by your side. You have it, and so does your ex.

If you have managed to ward off resentment, it is time to also ward off jealousy and envy.