5 Steps To Reconcile With Your Past
If you are reading this it is because you have made some mistakes in the past that you cannot forget or you are sad because you lost something or someone that can no longer be recovered. The positive side is that you are not the only one with a difficult past, the reality is that we all have experiences that we have not fully accepted.
Although we all go through and have in our memory experiences and people who in some way continue to hurt us because they marked our past in a particular way, sometimes you may feel that you do not have the necessary strength to face the loss and move on or to forgive yourself for mistakes committed.
When this happens it is important that you see life as something linear, it only has one direction and it is forward, it is impossible to go back, impossible to change the things that were done. As long as you do not assume this, you will continue living the cycle of guilt that will get you nowhere and you will not be really happy.
While it is true that there is no magic solution, we can always do something to improve our situation day by day. The following steps will be useful to let go of that burden that is the past and be able to move forward, or at least, not think about it 24 hours a day.
STEP 1. Think about what you did
Think about what you did or what you lost and keep in mind that this belongs to the past, not to the present. It is important to recognize it even if it seems very simple. Analyze what really makes you feel bad: the results obtained, the attitudes of others, your own attitudes, your thoughts, etc. and see really how it affects you on a day-to-day basis and if there are changes that you can apply today.
The first step in trying to cope with a situation and be able to manage it is to accept what happened. Knowing what happened and not trying to repress it or forget it no matter how much it causes us suffering or discomfort. But knowing that it was in the past.
STEP 3. Get excited
Get in touch with others and with yourself. Apologize to whom it may concern, including you. Leave behind the guilt for what you did or what you lost. Remember that the most important part of forgiveness is the ability to continue on your way. It is true, things will not be as before, but they do not have to continue as now.
Instead of pretending nothing is wrong, accept it and be honest so you can continue without limitations. Staying anchored in the past and guilty will not lead us anywhere, only to position ourselves as victims.
STEP 4. Reflect
Mistakes are part of life’s learning. You did not blame yourself for failing in school, because it was part of your learning, life is also a long apprenticeship. The reflection should be focused on discovering what can make you a better person without concentrating on the negative.
Therefore, reflect on what happened but without extending too much in time. This way you will be able to verify that each mistake is an opportunity and a learning that will help you so that in the next time you can do things differently.
STEP 5. Live today
Seize the moment. The present is fleeting and quickly becomes the past, but every second can contain emotions that you will hardly feel if you are looking back. Get out, breathe, take a breath and feel the sun on your face. Simple things are often the ones that help us the most.
Image courtesy of Matilou, Rafael López
